I'm losing everything. Family, friends, and sanity.

I need medication. I can't obviously control my anger correctly. I can be a good child. I might as well give up and live on the streets. I've tried for the whole three months of school to do my best and my parents can't even recogonize it.

Don't bother sympathy. After all, I'm just a controlling bitch that no one has anything to do with. I've got a few friends left because I'm such an asshole...

To Kyle, Haily, Sam, Jacob, Josh, Sean, Adrian, and AJ, whom have never had anything to say bad about me since I came back from a rough summer full of stress and moving...you guys have made me feel even more worth that I really am and have supported me through out people hating me in Band and Related art...

I would also like to thank Carmen for supporting me...bit by bit.

I would like to thank Mr. Whitson, Ms. Sabala, Tammi, and Ms. Christensen for all their hard work to help me and make me feel honored to help them. I have had the honor to work with all of them after school, during school, and before school to run organizations. I would want to also thank Pac Ten for accepting my School Art Zine...

Ms. Christensen is especially thanked because she has not only been a great teacher, but she has taught me how to play percussion, Marimbas, and has taken her time to go through teaching me how to organize the sheet music so I can be honored in my band class for doing so much. She has reconized me in front of the entire 8th grade band for helping so much and offering to learn so much to help the band succeed. I want to thank her so much because without her I would just be sitting in the corner trying not to cry because no one in my section at the time (flute) liked me...they even fought over not having to sit by me...

To Kyle and Jacob especially, thank you for always making me laugh. With out you two, I would never be able to talk to anyone or be the person I am today...I really appriciate it. You guys are way to generous too...I wish I could make it up to you. I have switched to percussion to help them as much as I can.

And to my online buddies,

Hikari, Twi, Hayley, Guuchi, Soopah, Echo and Cryssie,

You guys make me smile when I read your journals. You all are my inspiration. I love you all, but I love my real friends more~

And to my parents and brother, with out all you have given me, I would be miserable and lonely. But thanks to them, I have support, love, and things I don't even want.

I am spoiled. I have a Wii, DDR, A TV, Used to have sattelite, and a computer.

but what I really would want for all that is that my family to play games together and watch me draw and support each other a bit more.

I will tell you now, we are struggling with family. We are grumpy because we have no heat, I can't get work done...It's a disaster. But I try...

I have put Raleigh under more blankets. I will be freezing, but at least I know he'll be happy.

And one more thing,

I'm not emo. I'm depressed. I'm...I don't know...just not in a mood anymore.